Writings of a Sinner

For all sin and fall short of the glory of God

Category: Thoughts and Sayings

Believe 

Believe in The LORD God. The Father Almighty who created you, the world you live in, and the heavens above. 

Believe in The Son who’s blood has saved us from sin, death, and the power of the devil. 

Believe in The Holy Spirit who speaks truth into your ears and fights the battle for your soul. 

Believe in His Word and humble yourself before Him. Joy and peace and comfort are freely given. 

Believe. 

Spacious

I guess now I have time
To take a breath in without fear of letting it out.
I guess now I have room
For a call on the phone to those I love back home.
I guess now I am free
To space out for a while and just float with the breeze.
I suppose now I can fall
Back down to earth and touch my feet to the ground

Honesty

Lies taste like candy,

and boy did I have a sweet tooth.

Not so much anymore.

Honestly.

They’re sweet on the tip of your tongue.

Satisfying with each bite.

Wrapped up in pretty little packages.

Honestly.

But we can’t live on candy.

Cavities move in and weaken the fabric of our character.

Doesn’t taste so good anymore.

Honestly.

I still have holes from the lies I’ve told.

I don’t think they’ll fill with time.

I’d much rather fill them with truth.

Honestly.

Brilliant

I’m not one to be definitive about “favorite” things.

Not bands, songs, movies, or dates.

My favorites come and go like the tides.

But lately,

my favorite word has been

“brilliant.”

I imagine a shining light that almost hurts to look at,

but is too beautiful to look away.

Something that sucks you in, but instead of taking from you, it gives.

Gives you hope,

freedom,

strength,

warmth.

Something that is so profound that you can never know it truly,

Like a book that never ends, therefore never leaving you in withdrawals.

Never leaving  you lost.

A view.

A story.

A person.

An idea.

Simply brilliant.

Breathe

I think to a point, life is like breathing. Just as it is impossible to continue inhaling without exhaling, it is impossible to move forward without letting go of the past.

Attraction

I’m not sure how long or how short this will be but I’m sure I’ll know by the end.

Today I’m going to talk about attraction. What is attraction? According to dictionary.com attraction is, “a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure”. I think I can agree with that. For the most part. But is it just pleasure that “it” provides? I’m not so sure. When most people think of attraction they might think of the game of wooing the opposite sex. For a physicist, the thought of magnetic attraction might pop up. But I am no physicist, nor do I particularly want to be. I want to talk about attraction on a much more personal level.

Picture this. Picture the epitome of an attractive person according to you in your head. You don’t have to tell me, which means you don’t have to lie or embellish it into a more agreeable picture. Be completely honest with yourself. What are their characteristics? Physicality, smell, what does their voice sound like, nationality, profession, wants and wishes, etc… I can picture this woman quite well in my mind. I’m not 100% sure on every detail because I obviously have not been exposed to every possible characteristic that our LORD’s creation has to offer, but I still have a pretty good outline of what I enjoy. I also think that this model person is ever changing. Eventually I believe that this ever changing picture will one day come to rest as a single form

As we live our lives, we continue to see, speak with, interact with, and hear about new people every day. Constantly uploading information into the memory bank. We pick out things we like and things we don’t like and add them to their respective folders. This is what causes our epitome of attraction to continue changing. But there’s a problem. Attraction can be a tool used for both sides of the battle.

My theory is this. The trick to making attraction work for your benefit rather than your down fall, is to make your attraction dynamic rather than one dimensional. I say dynamic instead of two, three, or four dimensional because i have no idea how deep attraction can go. I only know of its shallowness. If you want an example of how extremely shallow attraction can be just turn a the TV and watch a few commercials. That is what commercials are all about. Luring your one dimensional attraction into buying their product. Not all commercials are such blood-sucking fiends, but there are more than I’d comfortably like. Usually the first level of our attraction starts with what we see. Humans are very visual creatures therefore leaving this sense as our primary perception. Maybe next (if we make it to the next step) we might take in how their voice sounds or how they smell. This is where people get tricked. All has been well up to par so you stop taking interest into the deeper levels of attraction leaving you open like a target on a range, unable to move itself out of the line of fire. Here’s another example of an evil side of attraction. Maybe the first level was not good at all so you move on and completely miss out on great characteristics deeper than just visual and physical. Sure maybe the person isn’t for you but they have valuable qualities none the less. If you don’t put in the effort to find those qualities you will A. Never experience those qualities therefore limiting your outlook and potential and B. Give that person the impression that those qualities are not important and causing them to be ashamed of them.

I think what I’m trying to get at is this. Do not put a limit on your attraction. In doing so you are placing that limit on both yourself and on other people. We all have something valuable inside us. If we didn’t… we wouldn’t exist.

Get up

Do not drop your head or close your eyes

Its game time and something is on the line

So what if you struck out

Its no time to drop out

That’s what they want and you cant give it to them

You must absolutely refuse

Maybe you’re tired

Maybe you’re sore

Maybe you’ve got sand in all the wrong places

Tough shit

You were made for this

Your situation wouldn’t exist if you weren’t

He gives you no more than you can handle

And you’re going to do just that

Handle it

Doesn’t have to be graceful or pretty

But you need to get the job done

Somebody’s life depends on it

Maybe a stranger’s life

Maybe a loved one’s life

Maybe your own life

Either way there is only one correct option

Get up

Fragile

The most beautiful things are the ones you’re most afraid will break.

The wrong touch in the wrong place could destroy that unbearable distraction before your eyes.

The wrong note in the right piece can tear a world apart.

The wrong words can make that beautiful being walk straight out of your life through the same door they came in through.

But know that it is better to attempt such greatness and fail miserably than to never attempt at all.

Do not cower behind the failures that might be.

Do not neglect to ask in fear of a negative reply.

Success is worked for, not given for nothing.

But that is not what this is about.

This is about the small things on the brink of disaster.

A new born child is a prime example of beauty in fragility.

The ratio of things that can harm a newborn compared to helping it is easily 1,000,000 to 1.

In that sheer frailty is strength.

In that tenderness is a smooth and sturdy comfort.

There is no shield for that child to hide behind.

No fail safe helmet that will protect it from harm.

The child has everything to loose.

That is the fact that makes it beautiful.

That is why we long to embrace the things we’re most afraid to destroy.

I will always cherish that which is fragile.

The Heart of a Sinner

Here I lay on my bed with my hand on my heart and I begin to think about all that a heart is claimed to be. From the anatomical point of view, my heart is an organ comprised of muscle that pushes blood through my arteries and veins in an endless struggle to keep me alive. From the emotional point of view, my heart is a head quarters for all that is either love, or the lack of it. It is a being not connected to my body that can both positively and negatively touch or be touched  by the heart of another. From the spiritual point of view, my heart is exactly that. My heart is the heart of me. It is me. Everything that I am is written in the book that is my heart.

What about from the living point of view? Is there no single definitive answer to what my heart really is? Do I have to pick between those three definitions of a heart? I’ve decided that no I do not. There are many things in this world that will be a mystery to us as children of God. But, I have a theory. Not something that I claim to be fact. Neither is it something that I would completely rule out. My theory is derived from the fact that God is a triune, meaning that he is made up of three persons, all who are one. These persons are The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. The LORD created us in his image. My theory is that our hearts are also triune. My heart is made physically of flesh and blood just like The Son. My heart is made of love that has been graciously shown to me by The Father. My heart is made of a spirit that is separate from my body and that contains all that I am and it is fed by The Holy Spirit.

Unfortunately, my heart is also corrupted by sin in all ways. I wait eagerly for the day that my heart can be forever clean. So here I lay on my bed with my hand on my heart. A sinner.

Santuary

This is where I come. This is where I am safe from all sad, violent, sinful, deadly thoughts. My sanctuary has a grand piano sitting next to large windows that look out to an evergreen forest. On the walls are wooden shelves filled with The Bible, various books of both fact and fiction, and thousands of musical scores. Music of my choosing vibrates in the air without a stereo system. In my sanctuary is a punching bag for when I find myself wanting to tear the world apart. There is a cup of hot earl grey tea mixed with honey sitting on the window seal of this secluded cabin. The air out side is the freshest air ever and fills my lungs with life, ambition, relaxation, and love. This is where I come when I am angry, happy, sad, tired, disappointed, wanting, uncomfortable, or undecided. This is where I come when I need someone to hold. This is where I come when I have been torn apart and it’s time to build back up. This is where The LORD gives me strength to continue on. The weights that chain me to the ground evaporate as soon as I step in the large doorway. There is no ceiling to my sanctuary, giving my wings free reign of the sky. Nobody can enter except for me and The LORD. This is where I come