Writings of a Sinner

For all sin and fall short of the glory of God

Month: December, 2012

Poison

I’ve been up all night.

If all goes well, I will be up all day.

This isn’t poetry.

This is me going on a rant.

This is me letting out the poison.

Its like a diary that everybody is allowed to read.

Is it a cry for attention?

Probably.

I love attention.

I kinda feel guilty about my love for attention and I don’t know weather that is right or wrong.

I also love to give attention.

Lately all I’ve had is myself, and frankly I’m tired of looking in the mirror.

I want to stare at somebody else.

I’m getting so restless in this skin.

I need to feel some pain.

I love pain.

That probably sounds creepy but I don’t care.

It doesn’t matter how it sounds.

Because pain is the only thing this fallen world has to threaten me with.

Pain means I’m doing something right

Pain is rewarding.

I sure hope I don’t have to die a quick and easy death.

That would mean that I have been too quiet about what is right.

That my voice has been too low and my life too soft.

I think I need a punching bag.

Something to take out all this pent up energy on.

I have more poison than just thoughts in my head.

It runs in my veins.

I need to work it out.

Gotta fight those demons.

I am no saint.

I am a sinner.

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Song Bird

There once was a boy who’s name unknown

Inside a cage he had lived and grown

But the years had shaped and molded him well

As he lived his life inside his cell

He knew that he was not alone

There was no other captive except for him

His quality of life was at best, grim

But his hopes and dreams never ceased to show

So too a bird perched beside his window

And every night she would sing to him:

Green eyed boy without a name

This cage will not always keep you tame

I hear the beat of your lion’s heart

And one day you’ll tear this cell apart

And put your captors all to shame

I see them snicker, prod, and poke

To them you’re captivity is a daily joke

They fear the truth that lives in your core

Why else would they lock your cage’s door

Never will they find your spirit broke

Bide your time and calm your breath

This cell will not become your death

Not so long as I am here to sing

Now cherish and live upon the love I bring

And sleep the hours that you have left

Every night he’d listen well

As he sat on the floor of his sturdy cell

And just as she would finish her song

He’d blow her a kiss goodnight and she’d be gone

In his ears the bird song would dwell

Day after day the bird would come

And wash away the lonely numb

Until one day happened the strangest thing

The bird did not arrive to sing

He felt rage explode. What had they done?

For two days he waited through morning and night

But never did the bird grace his sight

On the third morning he lost all control

He broke free of his cage to find his lost soul

And though his jailors tried, they were no match to fight

He quickly broke their will with his roar’s mighty sound

And then he was off with a powerful bound

He searched through the wilderness in the heat of the day

And after hours he found to his hearts dismay

There lay the bird broken winged on the ground

A storm grew in the sky as he let out a cry

He had never thought such a creature would die

There was lightning and thunder as he sat in the rain

Though powerful the storm it could not wash away the pain

Even after the storm stopped his tears sill would not dry

Until finally he rose and without a word

He began to work though his eyesight was blurred

He dug deep in the dirt where nobody would tread

And once finished he placed a grave stone that read

There is no love greater than of a song bird

Color

When you feel the world’s ice, paint me red and I’ll love your worries away

My anger will not spill inside

When you need to be distracted paint me yellow because I’m an attention freak

Let me shine in your spotlight

When things look too bleak paint me green and give me life

Heal me with that brush of yours

When you’re cornered and boxed in paint me blue and I’ll be your sky

Let me rain down and soak your bones

When your hairs on your neck raise paint me white and clear my eyes

I’ll keep the darkness at bay

When your enemies outnumber your friends paint me orange and fierce

Nothing will break my will

When you don’t know what to expect around the next turn paint me grey and feel secure

I will not surprise you with my antics

I need your brush as you need my color so paint me how you wish

But do not paint me black

Letter

A few sheets of paper

Such feeble beginnings

Dry, dead paper

Waiting for it’s life to be written

A story untold

 

Pick up your pen

Write your mind

Let everything out of control

Paper holds no judgement

Lest you write it

 

Days, experiences, thoughts, and feelings

Transform into words

Small scratches of lead

Thin traces of ink

Draw the pictures you choose

 

Send it away with the birds

It’s carried where it belongs

Enveloped inside a protective shell

A piece of your soul

All in a letter